start to love yourself

Start To Love Yourself – You Deserve It

February is a month full of messages about love and relationships. This may give you an excuse to have a special evening with your partner and reconfirm how you feel about each other. Or, you may hate the commerciality of Valentines Day and try to ignore it.  

In this month of love I’d like to turn the attention to the relationship with ourselves. Do you show yourself the same love that you show to those around you? 

I know that for some people the concept of loving yourself seems an impossible task. Over many years you have focused on what you don’t like about yourself; what you wish you were better at; and what you haven’t got.  

How do you speak to yourself?

Imagine if you spoke to anyone else in your life the way that you speak to yourself. I bet the thought of that horrifies you. We have absolutely no issue telling ourselves how rubbish we are; what we should have done; or what people must have thought about us.  

I used to do exactly the same. I spent decades talking negatively to myself and it had a significant impact on my confidence and self-esteem. It was almost impossible to say anything nice to myself – I certainly couldn’t stand in front of a mirror and say I loved myself or that I was proud of myself. I hated what I looked like physically and disliked a lot about my behaviours and how I let people treat me. I felt powerless to change anything.  

At the time I believed that if only I could lose my weight then I would feel differently about myself. But I was wrong. I realised that I could let myself live at a healthy weight IF I felt better about myself and I found a really effective strategy to help me do that. 

Changing how you speak to yourself can help you start to love yourself

This is me. When I look at this picture I see a little girl who is confident, happy and as proud as punch to be stood there having her photo taken. I want the world for her. I want her to have everything she deserves and I certainly don’t want her to feel shame or to feel bad about herself. It was a very emotional experience to realise how bad I had been treating her. 

So I started to use this picture to change how I talked to myself. I thought about what I was proud of and what I did like about myself. Looking at her made it easier. I was proud of my kindness and my relationship with my daughter. I had coped with some difficult situations and I had provided for my family. Whenever I started talking to myself badly I looked at the picture (which I put in my phone so I always had it) and it helped. 

It wasn’t easy but it was easier than it had been. Over time it got easier and I started to prioritise myself in my own life as I believed I deserved it. I didn’t suddenly become unkind or selfish – I just started treating myself more kindly.  

So, in the month of love think about how you can show yourself more love. Use a picture of a younger you to help you – it really works.  If you would like to find out how coaching could help you start to love yourself please get in touch here.

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It's time to start being kinder to yourself - you are worth it.

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