I’m Mandy Sinclair and I’m a Co-Active coach working with individuals and business to live their best life. Empowering them to find the clarity and inner belief to make small changes which impact their lives in a meaningful way. It’s something I’m incredibly passionate about and something I’ve finally been able to achieve in my own life.
A few years ago, anyone would look at my life and think I had everything: a beautiful healthy daughter, a successful career, my own home and great holidays to enjoy as a result of a comfortable income. But these were just external factors. Internally, I was very unhappy. I didn’t have any self-worth and I had no idea how to change that.
I could go into battle and overcome immense challenges on behalf of someone else, but I could never put myself first. This manifested itself in a number of ways that at the time I didn’t realise were in my gift to solve.
In my career, the impacts were less obvious, or so I thought at the time. I was in a senior role in a major financial organisation, but looking back now I can see that at work I never thought I was good enough and I resisted putting myself forward for further leadership roles and I even turned down some amazing opportunities because deep down I didn’t think I was ‘worthy’ enough. I waited for recognition from others and kept working harder and harder to try and prove myself. When that recognition didn’t come or I wasn’t given another opportunity, it was just further validation that I wasn’t good enough.
Outside of work I had a very poor social life, with no personal confidence or self-esteem. I always felt out of place socially and avoided many social occasions. I never organised events as I needed people to outwardly show me that they needed me by extending invitations, which I’d then often decline due to anxiety and embarrassment. Unsurprisingly, the invitations dried up which only reinforced the view that no one liked me, I just wasn’t good enough.
Relationships were incredibly difficult. I can see now that I was desperate to be loved but I was unable to love myself. To try and earn love from someone I would often allow people to treat me badly as I thought if I showed them I still loved them that they would love me back. This is never the basis of a healthy relationship and that was certainly true for me. I was the ultimate people pleaser at a huge expense to myself.
The physical impact was obvious, my weight. At my largest I was over 28 stone and looking back now I wonder how I kept going. I was reasonably active, I worked full-time in a stressful job, looked after a young child and did DIY and gardening. I was great at denying my weight was stopping me doing anything. But it was. I would wear a big smile on my face but inside I was dying of shame.
So, what has changed?
In short … everything! My career, my friendship circle, even down to the clothes that I wear. But the most important thing that’s changed is that I’ve learned to love myself; to look in the mirror and feel proud of who I am.
But it didn’t happen overnight, and it certainly wasn’t an easy journey. It’s the result of lots and lots of small changes, sustained over a period of time with the help of some transformative coaching and support from some great people.
But at the core of it was me…the real me.
My life now is unrecognisable. At 51, I am now finally happy in my own skin. I am content and fulfilled with my life. I have changed careers and am confident about taking risks and putting myself in challenging situations. I have a great social life with a wide and varied set of friends. I am fit and active and challenging myself constantly to test my boundaries. To people who don’t know me, the biggest change may seem to be on the outside, but anyone who knows me will tell you that the biggest change is on the inside. I am ME and I love it.
I’m proof that anyone can make a positive change with the right support and I believe that everyone deserves to be able to be proud of themselves and live their best life. I now want to use my experience and my Co-Active coaching training to help people and businesses be the best they can be.
If you want to make changes in your life then use the link below to book a free call with me to understand how I can help you or your business.
Let’s work towards your best life together.Book a Free Call