I’m Mandy and I’m a transformative coach working with individuals from all walks of life to live their best life empowering them to find the clarity and inner belief to make small changes which impact their lives in a big way. It’s something I’m incredibly passionate about and something I’ve finally been able to achieve in my own life.
But it hasn’t always been this way.
So how did I get here?
In many ways, my life has been good. I have a beautiful healthy daughter and I have been successful in my career which has enabled me to have many material benefits. However internally I was very unhappy. I couldn’t bear to look in the mirror and I didn’t have any self-worth.
I could go into battle and overcome immense challenges on behalf of someone else, but I could never put myself first and this manifested itself in a number of ways that at the time I didn’t realise were in my gift to solve.
The physical impact was obvious, my weight. At my largest I was over 28 stone and looking back now I wonder how I kept going. I was reasonably active, I worked full-time in a stressful job, looked after a young child and did DIY and gardening and I was great at denying my weight loss was stopping me doing anything. But it was. I had virtually no social life as I avoided many key events and activities due to embarrassment about my size.
In my career, the impacts were less obvious, or so I thought at the time. Looking back now I can see that at work I never thought I was good enough and didn’t put myself forward for roles and opportunities that I could have done. I waited for recognition from others and kept waiting and working harder and harder to try and prove myself. When that recognition didn’t come or I wasn’t given an opportunity, to me it was just further validation that I wasn’t good enough.
Outside work I had a very poor social life, with no personal confidence or self-esteem. My weight issues meant I hated shopping for clothes and always felt out of place socially. I never organised events as I needed people to outwardly show me that they needed me by extending invitations, which I’d then often decline due to anxiety and embarrassment. Unsurprisingly the invitations dried up which only reinforced the view that no one liked me, I just wasn’t good enough.
Relationships were incredibly difficult. I can see now that I was so desperate to be loved but I was unable to love myself. To try and earn love from someone I would often allow people to treat me badly as I thought if I showed them I still loved them that they would love me back. This is never the basis of a healthy relationship and that was certainly true for me.
In short, everything has changed, because one thing has changed, I have learned to love myself, to look in the mirror and feel proud.
It didn’t happen overnight
Nor was it easy, it is the result of lots and lots of small changes, sustained over a period of time with the help of some transformative coaching and support from some great people
But at the core of it was me.
My life now is unrecognisable. At 50, I am now finally happy in my own skin. I am content and fulfilled with my life. I have changed careers and am confident taking risks and putting myself in challenging situations. I have a great social life with a wide and varied set of friends. I am fit and active and challenging myself constantly to test my boundaries.
I’m proof that anyone can make positive change with the right support network and I believe that everyone deserves to be able to look in the mirror and feel pride.
If you’re looking for change then why not make talking to me your first step?
Let’s work towards your best life together. Get in touch for an informal chat today.